Since every blog needs a first post, I thought I'd make the subject a little appropriate and start with the birth of the idea that eventually came to generate this blog. I guess this story starts about 2 years ago, round early 2006, just after doing my evening meditation exercises. This, by the way, tends to be one of my default thinking cap times (I usually also have one in the morning, afternoon and early evening). Ideas tend to come to me in flashes, heavy bright, very intense and just as short flashes.  This one was no exception.

I believe I wrote the idea down somewhere, as I usually do, in order not to forget it, just don't ask me where that paper would be.  I have always found it ironic that I am not able to remember any of my ideas if I don't write them down, however once written, it is known and I usually don't need to consult any papers again to remember, but if I forgo this, oh dear,...  Very annoying at times (especially if there is no paper around). Anyway, ideas come in all shapes and forms, some are good, some bad, some are hard to tell.  This one fell in the latter category: simple, elegant, but lets kid ourselves not: very far fetched.  So for a long time, I focused on other things, things I new would work, things that are within reason.

At this point, I should note something about my health. you see, for the last couple of years this had slowly been going downhill. Back & leg pain and fatigue had been plaguing me for the last couple of years, in crescendo ever since the age of 23-24.  At the beginning, it was believed to originate from a back injury, but because of it's persistency other paths were considered, but never fully acknowledged. So, for a long time, I simply struggled along, basically hoping for the pain to go away, which it did on occasion, giving me hope again to one day be able to pick up where I left off.  So I maintained my programming skills, learned what needed learning and tried to find my way in this world.

Things took a turn though, somewhere round March of 2008 when I began to feel a nuisance in the stomach. After an initial endoscope, the doctor appeared somewhat concerned and didn't immediately inform me of his findings but instead sent a letter to my local doctor explaining things and requesting some further observation.  Apparently he had seen something that looked remarkably a lot like Crohn's disease. Off course, as soon as that name was mentioned, I new,... If crohn was in play, all these years could simply have been the foreplay for Bechterew's: FUBAR. At that time, I panicked.

To properly explain my reaction, I should probably first tell you about my love for moving images in all shapes and sizes (preferably with some colors though). My humble gratitude goes out to Edison, Baird, Zworykin, Farnsworth, and so many others who helped to create this most wonderful of teaching instruments.  With this little box, I was allowed to live a thousand different lives without having to suffer any of them. A most educating experience.  (Note: I must admit, I don't know yet how to judge it's current evolutionary path.  In some ways it's probably good in others just crap.  I do know though, that I watch a lot less lately, more perhaps on that later). Anyway, thanks to TV, I was allowed to discover my worst fear: dying, knowing I had the potential but not the guts to simply try. You see, my panic stemmed from the idea that if Bechterew's is at play, I might not have that many useful typing years left, and from a previous experience, I knew how projects like this can horribly wonder out of there original time frame. 

Decisions were made.

In order to achieve the most rapid development time possible, I decided to cut every corner I could.  Basically this means I simply wrote the app in one go.  I didn't make any design papers, there isn't a single test, nothing. The code is fairly well documented though, for my own sanity. Work schedule was simple: mornings to control the pain and get the machinery going, afternoons and early evenings coding, late evening meditating on tomorrows tasks so the next day could go as smooth as possible. This schedule only got interrupted for required events like family dinners and recovery periods (days I was not able to type or everything was just hurting to much for any sane thought to emerge).

To guide me through the code as design paper, I simply replayed the idea scene over and over again in the evenings so I could carefully observe all the details. How, as a thought, I was traveling over the links which were generated just in front of me.  How all of a sudden I split up into many different paths, some growing thicker, some thinner, others simply dying out. How these splits could form loop backs and how they finally join again.

Somewhere round august, my doctor noted things weren't improving and changed my medication to Humira. This was a life saver. Recovery periods got shorter and shorter, and farther in between.  Up to the point that the last one must have been a couple of weeks ago now and only lasted a day. Pain also got less and less. I'm not pain free yet and eating is still no fun. The back can also still let itself be known.  But at least I am able to function somewhat again.  So development speed picked up and as the whole thing slowly began to work, I realized this might actually be something. So I eventually decided to put together a paper and an installer to find out what other people might think of it. For those of you brave enough to try out this beast, I feel a little warning is in order: as it is the very very first proto release, there are still some extreme rough edges.  Some things aren't working completely and others simply aren't finished yet. Only 1 demo works fully, an other one almost. Things should improve rapidly over the next few weeks though, so bare with me.